WHEN IS A FRIEND A FRIEND AND YOUR SPOUSE A SOUL MATE?

     It took me a while earlier in life to learn the do's and don'ts when talking to someone concerning your personal affairs. So often you can fall into the trap of "The line of Least Resistance" when it comes to discussing personal matters with your friends.
     It's always great to get things off your mind that bother you about every day matters, particularly when you think you're in the company of someone you consider your friends. You can even look at it as therapy at the time, because you're getting little, and sometimes big things that bother you, off your mind to people you feel you can confide in.
     But to me there's an unwritten code of conduct that I try to constantly remind myself of, and sometimes violate myself, that you and your spouse and/or friends agree to subconsciously as you get to know each other well. It's called respect! Respect for one's statements whether good or indifferent, one's personal habits, whether or not they annoy you or your spouse or friend, and last but not least, bottom line trust in one another at a time of disagreement, that 99% of the time is quickly forgiven at the time.
     If mutual trust hasn't yet been lost among each other, you must work to regain or maintain it as well. It's all essential to a healthy relationship. Am I on the right course, so far?
     So often you can take for granted the trust of an acquaintance, and in conversation say something personal about another in passing, so to speak, that you don't think harms anyone. But think about it first. Just in saying it, are you passing on something that can be construed as a "vote of non-confidence" in regard to the spouse or friend that you're discussing? Because this is what happens.
     You can discard most things as quickly as you said them and move on to another subject, but the person you said it to does not discard or forget it as readily.
     If you fall into the habit of doing it, you will sometime in the near or distant future, regret you said it.
     My thought is simply this. If you wish the relationship to eventually end in nasty feelings, keep doing it. Because it will happen.
     If you wish your relationship to grow and be everlasting, stop doing it and let each other be a little more forgiving toward each other. Give each other the benefit of the doubt.
     There's a saying that's proven true to me over the years, although I myself tend to forget it, " Don't tell your troubles to your friends, but your enemies, they're the only ones that appreciate them!" Think about that and then ask yourself this question. Do you want your friends you talk to every day to maintain their respectful regards for the person you've just discussed?
     It's really all that simple.     Just sayin'.