WELCOM TO THE WORLD OF BEEPS, DING DONGS, GARAGE DOOR OPENERS AND WOMEN WHO DON"T ANSWER PHONES>

    Is it just me? Or does it bother you too?
    I go to a place of business and park. I'm bound to be encountered by a short beep of a horn . I quickly look instinctively to see who's acknowledging my presence. They must know me. Nope. No ones waving at me. Oh well, It must be someone locking their car.
    But why the horn??? I mean, don't they know they're locking their own car? Who else cares that they locked it? But even more ridiculous is when you hear a horn again and it's someone else unlocking their car. Does the whole world need to know that it's being unlocked? I DON'T THINK SO!!!
    It's this remote control thing that some people are addicted to, I bet!
    One time, (A long time ago when I could afford it) I purchased a new Lincoln Town car. I was so proud of that car! I parked it in my driveway where I could see it from the dining room window and would watch when friends walked by. I'd beep the horn with the remote and laugh like hell when they jumped from the sound. I should point out at this point that there were several buttons on this thing. I'm sure you understand what I mean.
    Throughout the evening I held it in my hand as I watched T.V. and eventually I went to bed for the night. The next morning after a very stormy, rainy night I arose, had breakfast and left for my car. To
my astonishment the trunk was wide open. I had accidentally pushed the trunk button! I cautiously walked over and looked in. There was 6 inches of water in there.
    It took me half a day to dry it out with the hair dryer after bailing the water and using the wet-dry vac.. So much for remotes.
    Now there's this thing about automatic garage door openers. When you open the garage door to go out to the car, (The garage is for storage as I'm sure you well know) there's a little seeing eye mounted to the door opening that beeps when you break the laser beam with your movement. If you're going to be crossing back and forth all day long that blessed beep just keeps right on beeping. But if you hop skip over the path of the beam it won't beep. The trouble is, you look awfully funny to the neighbors
across the street every time you do it.
    I know a doctor who does that! He said he's tried everything but it won't stop! It's really good for laughs, though.
    Next, what is it that makes women not answer their cell phone? After discussing it with the over-the-hill Gang at Starbucks, they agree it's a chronic problem! Oh, after a while they realize you called and then call back but with some annoyance at having been interrupted.
    Two weeks ago, I called my wife to give her an urgent message. As usual she didn't answer right away so I hung up knowing she would call back. She did. I told her I was at the Hospital with a suspected heart attack. She asked me if  I'd made out my will. When I said no, she said, "I'll be right over"!!   Just sayin'.